You can't motorboat a personality
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
