dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
