Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
