Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
