He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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