I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
