so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
