He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
