what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
