I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
