I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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