The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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