Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize