I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize