my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
