Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
