she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
