I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I need a beard to bite.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize