I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
