i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
