Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
