I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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