Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
