yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
