My hand turned me down
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
