I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
