We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize