she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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