i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
