She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize