There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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