My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
