Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
