dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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