Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
