Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
