It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize