he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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