I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
