Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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