i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
