remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
