I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
