I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
