no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
