sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
