it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
