forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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