ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just wanna soil my oats bro
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
