her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
a search helicopter?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
