Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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