i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
