Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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