How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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