so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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