I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
