So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
