if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's just like the Real World with babies
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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