A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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