i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
