life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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