do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
