nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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