Define "chronic" masturbator.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
