Sry I called you an 8
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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